Why are you traveling alone? Don’t you have a boyfriend? Don’t you have friends? Aren’t you scared?
Ever since I started traveling alone when I was 11, I had to continuously deal with these and other similar questions. I didn’t mind answering; I was happy enough as a child to travel by myself.
Not that I had a choice anyway; my high school in Iligan City was over 12 hours and three bus rides away from my hometown in Tandag, and too expensive for my parents to accompany me every time school started.
I became independent very early. I learned how to get the best seats, how to evade the occasional straying hand or head, how to get the biggest discount, and how to befriend my seatmates so that they could watch my bags when I had to go down the bus.
The best thing I remember about my travels alone, however, was the kindness of strangers that I’ve met. Once when I was 15, I arrived in Manila unexpectedly ahead of time, a few hours before New Year’s Day. I took a cab from the pier to the house of a family friend, and I was aghast to find out that one key was missing! I sat on the curb feeling panicky. I had a huge bag, it was New Year’s Eve, I was locked out, and I had nowhere to go.
The cab driver must have seen me; he came back and asked me why I was still outside. When I told him my problem, he told me to come with him; he would get some fares then he would bring me somewhere where I can spend the night.
If I had felt that something was off about him, I wouldn’t have gone with him. But all I sensed was his strong desire to help, so I went back to the cab. At 11pm, he brought me to a seedy, creepy place in Sampaloc which was well within my budget.
He told the receptionist that I was alone, asked her to watch over me, and then left. I celebrated the first day of 1995 with Skyflakes, water, and a deep gratitude to the cab driver whose name I didn’t even get.
Beautiful Caramoan
Listening to one’s intuition is major skill needed by solo travelers. I was in Naga during the Holy Week a few years ago, on my way back from Caramoan. I was way down the line to the ticket booth and had resigned myself to hours of waiting.
All of a sudden, a guy came up to me and told me they had a private car and they’re looking for passengers. The fare was P500 cheaper. The alarm bells rang so loudly in my head that I quickly said no, and the guy moved off, not even bothering to ask the people ahead and behind me.
So, is solo travel scary? Yes and no. Yes, the world has its share of people whose only concern is how to put one over you, and no, because the world is also full of people who are willing to help out. I’ve traveled alone to Sagada/Banaue/Batad, to Siquijor, Baguio, and countless other places in the Philippines and encountered so many nice and helpful people. I traveled alone in Cambodia, Europe, India, Malaysia, Nepal, Vietnam, and too, and the experience was no less memorable.
Watching the sun rise over Angkor Wat is priceless.
Even when I had a boyfriend, I still managed to travel by myself (to watch the crucifixion in San Fernando, Pampanga). I would take the occasional weekend off without F, for example, and leave him with a list of things to do in my house.
And when I broke up with B, I took refuge in traveling solo. I hopped on a bus to Baguio, ate binatog (steamed white corn sprinkled with shreds of coconut meat and sweetened with sugar and milk) at the Mines View Park, went online to write a blog post, and then went back to Manila.
I guess, for me, it’s the act of traveling itself that soothes me, the physical aspect of getting into the bus or plane, settling down, hearing the various sounds associated with traveling—from the other passengers talking, the vendors hawking their wares, the driver and the conductor sharing what they’ll do when they arrive home, the announcements over the speakers…
Traveling solo gives me the same peace as being up on the mountains. © James Dolar
All these serve to quiet the noise inside my head and my heart, leaving me at peace and feeling that all’s right with the world. The rumbling movement of the bus as it leaves the terminal always lifts my spirits and lulls me to sleep. The bus is leaving, and will soon arrive somewhere. Somewhere is home, whether there is someone waiting for me or not.
When I was 11, I learned about the freedom and the joy of solo travel, and this has only been reinforced through the years. Traveling alone has become a way for me to celebrate and affirm who I am. It has been and will always be my solace.
39 Comments. Leave new
Thank you for sharing your inspiring story. I am also a new solo traveler and I would like to share my experience. \
Godspeed! 🙂
@ Annie: Thanks. It’s solo travel that enables me to meet such wonderfully kind strangers!
I love the story about the cab driver in Manila… I can’t get over the sense of joy and gratitude I feel when I meet people who are genuine, friendly and caring, and I hope I never will. It’s like receiving a very precious gift from a stranger 🙂
@ Edsan: I agree there are many security risks when traveling alone. We just have to take extra care, I guess 🙂
@ Bok: Thanks 🙂
@ Ish: I do that, too, but in bus stations haha I always invent stories in my head about the people traveling. Where are they going and where have they been? Do they like traveling or see it as a chore? 😀 Thanks for dropping by!
Very well said. Solo travel is like choosing the front seat of death-defying rollercoasters each time. The first time you do it, people will think you’re nuts; heck, you probably think you’re nuts. After the ride, some people will hate and swear off the experience, and as for us, we’ll never ride in the back of the rollercoaster again.
Also, ditto on the zen vibe you get while in transit. My office is near the airport, so I find myself there from time to time. Even if I’m not the one lined up to check-in at the counter, I can’t help but get giddy and excited for all these people who are going to have so much fun on their next adventure. Pure bliss.
your a brave and adventurous lady. ^_^ it is always fun to travel and see the world. The world we know today will not be the world in the future so its good thing we see this now.
@ Yan: Thanks for dropping by my blog 🙂
Aww…Nice post girl! Thank you for posting!U r brave! Keep it up! 🙂
@ Tita Lil: Thank you so much for your wonderful words. I became who I am today because of those early experiences!
I don’t know how I missed this blog. Beautifully written with so much candor. You’re one admirable, brave young traveler. Love your insights on solo traveling. Bravo !
It’s nice to meet a fellow Surigaonon in the blogoshpere, you from Tandag City and me, from Bucas Grande Island, Socorro, Surigao del Norte, Philippines. There are pros and cons for solo travel. During my trip to Malapascua Island alone, I have had complete control of my time in taking pictures and selecting destinations. But, good for Malapascua because it’s a completely secluded area. Nevertheless, you need to travel with a companion in urban centers to keep watch of you taking pictures in crowded areas without fear on what might happen to your camera and other personal belongings.
@ Prime: That line really best captures the reason why I travel solo. 🙂
@ Jerik: Thank you. Hope to see you again in the next PTB meet-up 🙂
God has blessed you with the gift to travel the world. make the most out of every trip you have. i hope you continue to inspire more people, men and women, too find their solitude in the wild! Nice meeting you!!!
Hi Aleah
I think this graf best sums up the beauty of solo traveling” Traveling alone has become a way for me to celebrate and affirm who I am. It has been and will always be my solace.” – ah the joy of solitude, the joy (and luxury) of having the time and space to write,to reflect and just being happy for being what you are.
@ Happy Sole: it’s easy kasi to find a travel buddy here in the Philippines 🙂 You will find though that it’s nice to travel alone locally. You will talk to locals more. I’m sorry to say I haven’t been to Tinuya-an yet. hahaha
i dont know why, but i only get to travel alone outside of the country — when my hosts are working, which is usually the case. i haven’t tried it locally pa. siguro kasi kuripot ako? hindi rin. i dunno. san kaya ang una kong solo travel sa pilipinas? Syempre dapat hindi kasama ang home province ko. 🙂
nice post! taga-Surigao del Sur ka pala. ayan! meron nko mapag-tatanungan about out Tinuy-an Trip. hehehe
@ Chinchan: Mabait po akong bata! hehe
@ Red: I certainly agree with you on that. Happy Easter to you too!
@ Karen: It is rewarding in a lot of levels. Glad to know you’re another solo traveler!
nice post aleah! ako din I enjoy travelling alone as much as travelling with a group…and each has its own pros and cons! but travelling alone seems more challenging and rewarding 🙂
There’s something soothing about the rituals of travel – they can help you cope with anything!!
Have a great Easter!!
HIndi ka naman siguro nagka cut ng class nung neo kidilet ka pa ? =) ako hanggang mall lang ako mga age na 11 .. wala pa kaso akong baon, hatid sundo pa ako nun… dala dala ang lunch box at coleman… =)
@ CA: Thanks! I do like being independent.
@ Chyng: I didn’t have a choice. haha
@ Nathalie: I think every woman should travel alone at least once 🙂
@ Nicely: I also enjoy getting lost. It’s the travel itself that counts, not just the destination 🙂
Ui, pareho tayo: Grade 5 pa lang, nagbabyahe na din ako from Cavite to Manila and vice versa. P5 pa lang ang pamasahe sa bus nun. Masaya talaga magtravel mag-isa, especially kapag naliligaw na… Masarap magtanong, feeling tourist talaga ♥,♥
“Traveling alone has become a way for me to celebrate and affirm who I am. It has been and will always be my solace.” I totally agree..been hooked ever since I tried traveling alone.
whoa, traveling alone at age 11?! amazing!
kahit aiport di ko kayang puntahan at age 11! =)
i love this post!! independent woman! 🙂
@ Grace: What’s more annoying is when they ask why you’re not married. hehe
@ Mica: Re Dumaguete/Siquijor, absolutely go for it! Those places have a range of accommodations to fit your budget. My accommodation in Dumaguete was P250/night (in front of Silliman) and P150 in Siquijor. I would absolutely do it again.
@ Cat: Solo travel can be really addicting and liberating. You’ll learn so much about yourself and about people in general. Once you get used to it, you travel when you want to, not only when you can find someone to go with you 🙂
@ Jan: Salamat hehe
saludo ako sa iyo atapang a babae.
hi Aleah!
i can very much relate to the part wherein you said , “it’s the act of traveling itself that soothes me.” whether im at the airport or at a bus/ ferry terminal, it never fails to make me happy! it’s just that i’m not yet so used to traveling on my own but i’m slowly getting there.
cheers to more travels for us!
Cat
Natatawa ako everytime may nabibigla kapag sinasabi ko na kaya kong mag-travel mag-isa. It makes me proud though that i took that step to go on my own 😀
Gusto ko sana mag-solo travel ng Dumaguete-Siquijor, pero medyo hesitant pa. Hmmmm….
Very well said Aleah. I just get so annoyed when people ask don’t you have a boyfriend? Women can do anything with or without a man!